Italian Engagement Customs

This gorgeous floral crown diamond solitaire engagement ring captures the romance and passion of Italian engagement customs. Photo ©2019 EraGem Jewelry.   Italian engagement customs, of course, embody passion, romance, and grand gestures. Traditionally, the rituals begin when a man receives the blessing from his intended's parents. From there, serenades, diamond solitaires, and romantic kisses remain the order of the day.  

May I Marry Your Daughter?

Traditionally, Italian men asked for permission from a woman's parents before proposing to their sweethearts. To this day, men in southern Italy continue this polite and reverent tradition. While nearly relegated to the past, this custom shows deference and honor to a woman's family. Never a wasted gesture, I believe. Upon receiving their blessing, an Italian man moves on to stage two of his planned proposal.  

The Serenade

You've seen them in the movies - the grand gesture of the serenade. A man, usually accompanied by a friend or two, sets up a stereo or keyboard beneath the window of the woman he loves. It's late at night - dark out. The woman slumbers, unaware of the romance that awaits her. He begins quietly, tentatively picking at the keys or turning on the music. Then, he begins singing in his best voice. A song of romance, a song of love and passion. Words to express his heart's message to his beloved. Waiting and hoping, he turns up the volume. How awful it would be if she didn't awaken to hear him professing his love for all to hear. The curtains move. His heart leaps for joy as his beloved opens the window. She looks radiant, a blush of pleasure upon her cheeks. She smiles as he nears the end of his song. Then she disappears in a flurry of curtains and robe. Where did she go? He keeps singing, though he falters just a bit. Suddenly, she is rushing out to greet him in the street. His friend carries on the tune, as he moves to meet her. A long kiss and then he drops to one knee, holding out a ring.  

Italian Engagement Rings

According to some historians, the tradition of giving an engagement ring began in ancient Rome. At that time, a man placed an iron ring on his intended's finger. However, romance played no part in this tradition. Rather, the iron ring symbolized the transfer of ownership of the girl from her father to her husband. The ring meant agreement to a contract between the families. At this point, the only acceptable means to break the contract was death. Therefore, unbreakable iron served to symbolize the binding agreement of marriage. Of course, iron exposed to oxygen rusts. Therefore, by the third century Italian craftsmen replaced the iron wedding bands with bands of silver or gold. At this point, rather than symbolizing the transfer of ownership, the ring meant the man trusted his new bride-to-be with his wealth. Eventually, goldsmiths crafted the 'fede' ring. As symbols of fealty and love, these rings featured a golden signet with two hands clasped. Sometimes the hands clasped each other, sometimes a heart, and sometimes a flame. By this time, the Italian engagement ring symbolized the strength of love, a promise to marry, trust, and loyalty. Eventually, Italian craftsmen incorporated diamonds into their engagement ring styles. Back then the Roman's believed that Eros, the God of Love, collected diamond splinters from falling stars and used them as tips for his arrows. As such, once diamonds entered the scene for wedding jewelry in the 1400s, Italian men swiftly adopted the practice of giving a diamond to their intended during the proposal, or at the meeting of the families. Italians typically chose a diamond solitaire on either a gold or silver band. In addition to attributing the diamonds to falling stars and cupid's arrows, they also believed that diamonds emerged as the product of the flames of love. As a symbol of eternal love, a diamond ring and a romantic kiss sealed the promise to marry. At once, an Italian couple began planning to bring their families together to share the news and celebrate. From then until the wedding, the families share many meals together in an effort to get to know each other better before merging into one large family. ~Angela Magnotti Andrews