Posted in: World Wedding Customs
Engagement customs in the United States remain fairly traditional. A 2017 survey conducted by The Knot revealed that men initiate 78% of the proposals in the US. That year, nearly 90% of the men proposed on bended knee (87%), with an engagement ring in hand (91%), and asked, "Will You Marry Me?" (91%) (source)
"Will You Marry Me?"
The tradition of bending on one knee is difficult to trace historically. It might stem from the Medieval custom of kneeling before one's sovereign. Medieval men often kneeled to express fealty, devotion, and servitude. This remains the only historical reference to bending on one knee I found so far. Of course, the engagement custom of bending the knee may be more intuitive than that. Perhaps enough men, overcome by emotion, knelt in supplication to express intense devotion when words failed them. Whatever the case, the practice became customary. Women told their stories, authors and script writers picked up the baton and ran the tradition all the way to the finish line. Regardless of the many changes in gender expectations, this remains a steadfast custom. The overwhelming majority of women dream of the moment when their Prince Charming bends the knee and asks the question.Planning the Proposal
Once upon a time, a man planned a surprise but secret proposal. Perhaps a romantic dinner, with a presentation of the ring before dessert. Or at the end of a romantic stroll with a beautiful sunset view. Typically, the proposal included only the man and the woman. With the advent of social media, however, a bit of competition appears to color proposals. As of 2017, nearly half of proposals in the United States take place in a public venue. Venues include Disneyworld, a flash mob at the mall, a YouTube music video, and everything in between. Wherever it happens, the pressure is on - for the man to ask in just the right way, for the woman to be absolutely surprised, to shed tears or scream in excitement, and of course, to say YES! The majority of men spend over four months planning their proposals. It is fair to estimate that at least 60% of these men know their bride will say yes before they ask. She may not know how he'll ask, or when, but he is guaranteed a yes. I should hope so!!The Engagement Ring
Nearly all heterosexual couples in the United States commemorate their engagement with a ring. The majority of these rings are worn only by women. According to The Knot, in 2017, approximately 33% of couples shopped for the ring together. The remaining 66% left the decision solely to the man. These men look at an average of 26 rings before choosing the perfect ring for their sweetie. Choice of style depends somewhat on the going fashions of the day, but for most a timeless solitaire or cathedral mount works best. Antique and vintage rings remain as timeless a choice as the modern solitaire, as the styles typically match with every outfit and remain in vogue year in and year out. Given that I often write about the massive engagement rings purchased by the stars, it surprised me somewhat to find that the average central stone weighs in at just over 1 carat, with accent stones adding only another 3/4 of a carat. It is nice to know that you don't have to go big to show your love in the United States, even though the media might make it seem so. For those men shopping right now, let me assure you that if you're wrestling with questions about the process, you are not alone. At least 72% of men reported having some trouble finding the right ring. Of these, 35% worried about getting a good deal, while 28% wished they knew more about diamond terminology. If you find yourself wondering about these same issues, please reach out to our knowledgeable staff. Begin with a search right here about the 4Cs of diamonds. Just type "4Cs" in the search box on EraGem Post, and brush up on how to choose a diamond. We want to empower you to make the best decision for your budget. Then, hop on over to our home page and do a search for the style of ring you want. Narrow your search on the left by central stone type, carat size, price, and more. You now have before you a standard by which to measure quality for price.Let Us Serve You
Remember, at EraGem we sell antique, estate, and vintage jewels, previously owned. If you decided to purchase a brand new ring, expect to pay a higher price for the same quality. If you continue to have questions, or want to start looking at those 26 rings you'll need to look at to find your perfect one, give us a call. We are happy to educate you and arm you with the knowledge and confidence you need to make your final decision.5 years ago
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