Chinese Engagement + Wedding Festivities

   
Chinese Engagement + Wedding Festivities include the Bride's Journey to the Groom's House. Traditionally, they make the journey in a heavily adorned bridal sedan or bridal carriage. Photo courtesy Flickr.   A Chinese engagement begins after the betrothal gifts are exchanged. Once the wedding date is set and the invitations are sent, the couple enjoys several pre-wedding engagement festivities.  

Retreating to the Cock Loft

Traditional Chinese engagement includes the ritual called Retreating to the Cock Loft. During the three days prior to the wedding, the bride lived in seclusion in a special room apart (traditionally the cock loft) from the rest of her family. During this time, her dearest friends attend her. The Chinese bride spends this time singing laments with her friends, mourning her departure from her family. She might even curse the groom’s parents, and possibly even her own. This mourning period prepares her for the big transition of leaving her family’s home to live with her new husband. She finally emerges on the night before the wedding, prepared to say farewell to her family. At this time, she might honor her parents with gifts and expressions of gratitude for the life they’ve given her to this point. She also spends time at her family altar, expressing gratitude and saying goodbye to her ancestors who live at the altar.  

Installing the Bridal Bed

In the meantime, the groom follows the custom of appointing a ‘good luck woman’ to install the bridal bed. This woman of good fortune is one who has many children and a happy marriage. To begin this ritual, servants install a brand new bed in the couple’s new bedroom. Next, the woman of good fortune moves the bed into position and makes the bed using brand new bedding, including pink or red bedsheets. She then lays plates of persimmons, dried longans, lotus seeds, red dates, and pomegranate leaves on top of the bed. She also places peanuts, oranges, and other fruits atop the bed. Additionally, she places two red packets upon the bed covers. Next, she lights a pair of bedside lamps to ensure the birth of sons.  

Hair Dressing & Capping Rituals

The morning of the wedding begins with the hair dressing and capping rituals. The bride begins her morning with a bath at dawn, the water infused with pummelo to ward off evil influences. The citrus oils from the fruit also smooth and soften her skin in preparation for her wedding cosmetics. After emerging from the bath, the bride dresses in brand new undergarments and sits before the family’s good fortune woman. Two lit dragon-and-phoenix candles sit on either side of her. Dragons represent male energy, phoenixes female. These candles symbolize the unifying of the male and female energies. During this ritual, the good fortune woman combs and styles the bride’s hair. Prior to this day, she has worn her hair in the style of a young maiden. From here on, she will wear her hair in the style of a married woman. As the good fortune woman combs and styles her hair, she speaks words of wisdom and blessing over the bride. Meanwhile, at the young man’s home, the groom dresses in a long gown, red shoes, and a red sash with a red ball on his shoulder. He kneels before the family altar, and his father joins him. Standing behind him, his father places a cap adorned with cypress leaves upon his head. Next, the groom bows before the tablets of Heaven and Earth. Then he bows to his ancestors. Finally, he bows before his parents and other family members. His father then removes the red ball from his sash and places it upon the bridal sedan chair. It is now time to proceed to his bride's home.  

The Procession to the Bride’s Home

Accompanied by friends and family, and holding the hand of a child, the groom leads the procession to the bride’s home. Fireworks, gongs, and drums accompany the procession, alerting surrounding neighbors and villagers of the happy occasion. This noise also discourages evil spirits from hanging about. Traditionally, a group of attendants carrying lanterns and banners, as well as musicians and even a dancing unicorn, preceded the sedan chair in the procession. The sedan chair itself was decorated in red silks and fresh flowers. Upon arriving at the bride’s home, her attendants and representative stop him from entering her home. In order to gain passage, they expect him to perform tricks and stunts and haggle with the ladies. Here, he orders his representative to offer ang pau, red packets of cash money. Finally, the parties reach an agreement and the groom enters the bride’s family home. Inside, the bride’s family welcomes him to the table. Depending on the region they lived in, the groom might receive a gift of chopsticks and a pair of wine glasses wrapped in red paper. These gifts represent the joy her family feels about the marriage. Her family might also serve him soup with a soft-boiled egg, or longan tea along with two hardboiled eggs. In either case, the groom must break the yoke of an egg as a symbol of breaking the ties between the bride and her family.  

The Bride Journeys to the Groom’s House

After eating soup and receiving his gifts, the groom escorts his veiled bride to the sedan chair. Traditionally, the good fortune woman carried the bride upon her back in the sedan chair. Another attendant shaded her beneath a parasol and a third attendant threw grains and beans in her path, ensuring her fertility. Today, several men might be employed to carry the chair through the streets. Her attendants are chosen carefully, ensuring that their horoscope signs complemented the groom’s sign. Heavy curtains shield the bride from seeing anything inauspicious. Such sights might include a widow, a cat, or a well. Suspended from the back side of the chair are a sieve and a metallic mirror. These devices strained out evil and reflected light in order to protect the bride from evil spirits. Thus protected, the bride makes the transition from her family home to her husband’s home, where the wedding ceremony will take place.